I went to my first Weight Watchers meeting last night. There were lots of people there; mostly women. Mostly women in scrubs. And then, older women. There were 2 menfolk. I felt a bit sad as I walked through the door. I thought to myself, "I am PAYING to lose weight. Someone should be PAYING me for every pound I shed. Why do I have the urge to cry!?!?" Well, the answer to that, I found when I got home. PMS, you ruthless bitch, go away. You make me all weepy and crybaby-ish, and then I'm all irate and pissy, and then I'm all rainbows and lollipops. WTF? I really didn't need this on the day I start "Living, not dieting." Now, I will surely fall head first off the wagon into a chocolate patch and gorge myself silly with anything that is within reach. I ate a modest dinner last night and today, though all I can think about is food, I'm HUNGRY. I've had Nabs,water, Sugar Free Jello, water, chili, a small caesar salad, water and grapes. But I can't stop thinking about those Reese's Eggs I've got stashed in the office freezer. Or the handfuls of cereal I want to shovel in. Or the Coke I need to drink before I slap the taste out of some asshat's mouth. I get 23 points a day. That's basically 7 points per meal with 2 freebies. In my Carrie Bradshaw moment of despair, I have to wonder.. Am I gonna make it? Am I going to be able to force myself to do this and lose 2 lbs. a week so that by June I can actually wear a bathing suit on vacation? It's all so sad. I knew some (okay, all) of the things I eat aren't healthy-ish, but I never knew their point count was so high. This makes me sad. I can't eat fried anything, just about. Or slather gravy all over my plate. Good-bye huge soft rolls for dinner. So long greasy hamburgers and hot dogs. It's just not FAIR! I wanted to run home after the meeting and indulge in a "Last Supper", but I was too afraid. I was scared that I would be able to tell it at the next meeting. Please reassure me that I am not going to starve forever. As a soon to be former fat girl, I really hope it's worth giving up the gravy, yo.
8 comments:
Ok my dear I know this isn't really something you want to hear but I'm sure will all be worth it.
Also, I'm not sure if you like it or not but I think Diet Dr. Pepper is like zero points so you can have them to your hearts content. It's just what I heard.
Coming from someone who lost 120 lbs, you CAN do it. I lost the first 75 on my own and used WW for some of the rest. After three years of training at the gym, changing my eating habits, it really did become a lifestyle change.
Of course, now I'm shoving anything within arms reach in my pie-hole, but I'll be back on your wagon come July once I squirt this kid out.
You can doooeeeeeeeeet!
Aww I hate dieting. I feel like I've been eating grilled chicken every night for weeks. I'd join weight watchers, but I know I'd cheat and then lie to my group, then suffer from guilt.
You won't starve forever, you'll just be smarter about it all. Doesn't it suck when those forbidden things become that much more attractive all because they're forbidden? You can do it!
My god, people! I could eat 2 entire pizzas right now! And this is only my third day!!!
but seriously.. Thank you for the support! I'm gonna need it.
Hey, I came across your profile on 2-something bloggers (The Life is Good flip-flops interested me right off the bat). I started weight watchers (well, going to meetings anyway) in January, and can relate to this post. I've list about 13 pounds, but it's a frustrating and emotional process and I have a long way to go. So, here's to moral support.
WW blows, man. Good luck, seriously? I sort of gave up with it. It works, sure, but it is hard as hell. I felt like I was starving half the time. Oy.
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