I am back from vacation. And guess what?? It was TOTALLY AWESOME! I just hope I don't have to wait another 6 years until I get another one. Hubbs, D, and B went to Emerald Isle. It was fantastic! I was spectacular! I was really freakin' hot! We went to the beach, laid out, got tan, and walked five hundred miles in the process. Hubbs' grandparents own a beach house so we got to stay fo' free fo' the week. Which in and of itself is just by gawd fabulous! We took Pookie and even he had a blast. Honestly, the pup has only been swimming once and when we took him to the sound for a bit of splashing around, he was a riot.
We played putt-putt twice, and I'm proud to say that my husband the "Putt-Putt Prodigy" won both times. D joked that he had the home court advantage. I mean, honestly? The kid never loses. It's almost sickening to watch him putt so effortlessly. I, on the other hand, am skilled at the short shots. The long (and by long I mean from the start of the tee off spot to the hole) distances, not so much. Also? I got a hole in one ONCE! So eat that!
The highlight of our week in paradise was renting jet skis for D's birthday. It's like riding a 4-wheeler with no wheels. It's alot lower to the water than I expected and I'm not exaggerating when I say that I thoroughly freaked out when we got on them. I actually begged the dock guy to promptly swim in and save me if it even looked like I was gonna drown. Me and water? Are not friends. I swim like a rock. Sure, I can keep myself afloat and do a retarded doggy paddle, but that's it. In a nutshell, I could possibly keep myself from drowning, but I don't want to risk it. Lucky for me, Hubbs was driving and kept looking back at me to make sure I hadn't passed out and fell off the back of the thing. We rented them for an hour and after the first 30 minutes I started to relax and enjoy myself. It was great fun.
We went to the end of the island one day, where the ocean and sound meet, and discovered a sort of moat oasis in the sand. Houses line this stretch of water and there were sand bags practically holding up their porches and decks. Right where the sand bags began was a stretch of water on the sand, like a lazy river. I'm not a fan of the ocean. I'll get out there and get wet, but I'm like SO scared of being pulled under. Note my lack of swimming skills. But when we found this little treasure I was in heaven. It was shallow and also deep, so Hubbs and I swam the length of it a couple of times. We stayed out there for almost 5 hours! It was awesome!
Along with my lack of swimming skills, I possess impatience for laying out. I get bored really easy. I hate, hate, hate being out there in the hot sun and I fear the ocean, so I usually bring a book to read. That in turn, gets me picked on. Fat girls don't like to sweat. And? This fat girl is not going to drown if she can help it. So my beach/sun was limited to about 3 hour incriments until we found our sand oasis. Also? I have no stamina in the heat.
We got up early one morning and went back to the end of the island to collect shells before the day's beach-goers could snatch them up. I found 3/4 of a sand dollar and lots of pieces of sand dollars. And wouldn't you know it, Hubbs found the prettiest shells. The sad part was, the sand oasis had been mostly washed away with the tide. Sigh. Maybe next year when we take vacation it will be back.
Oh yeah! One of the funniest, best and proudest parts of our vacation was..... That I actually bought and wore a bikini. Yep. This fat girl broke down and felt good enough about herself to actually parade half-naked in public. Was my big ol' buddah belly hangin' out? YES. Were my stretch marks showing? Yes. Did Hubbs like my water outfit? Yes. Did I finally feel good enough to wear one for the first time in almost 4 years? YES! However, I would like to issue an apology to the beach-goers! HAHAHA! The best part was seeing women bigger than myself in bikini's too! You GO GIRLS! I say to hell with it. I was on vacation. I've got the tan lines to prove it!
Monday, June 30, 2008
Friday, June 13, 2008
How about some encouragement
This is the story of a woman who has everything and was dealt a blow of defeat. This woman is my mother. My mama is a practical woman. She has built a life with my Padre. They had one kid (Me!), have a nice house, nice cars, and one spoiled ass dog (Mickey). She and my Padre were married when he was 20 and she was 19. One year and one month later, yours truly was born. They never had a honeymoon save for the take out pizza and popcorn after the wedding, then it was back to work at their third shift jobs at the local cotton mill. So last year, for their 25th wedding anniversary, my Padre took her to Disney World. To say that my mama loves Mickey Mouse is a gross understatement. She shed tears when she was told she would get to meet him privately, and she shed some more when it was time to come back home. My Padre made a promise to her when they were married: I will give you everything you've ever wanted. She says he's made good on his promise. When she looks back through her pictures of that wonderful week in Florida, she'll run to him in the living room. He'll be sitting in his recliner that is slightly lopsided and worn from so much use, but not enough to throw it out and get a new one, and she'll wrap her arms around him and cry. She'll tell him how much she loves him and thank him profusely for taking her to the happiest place on earth. She'll joke about moving there to be a follower of the Mouse. He'll joke about seeing her once a year while he's on vacation. She loves him, and he loves her, and I love them both. She deserves nothing but the best. After all, she's had to put up with him for 26 years, and me for 25. She definitely deserves a medal. Or at least a purple heart. She's one of the smartest and kindest people I know.
That's why it's a little unnerving that she can't get the job she wants. She's been faithful to her company for 8 years. She makes less money than those who just started a year ago. She hasn't had a raise in 4 years. Her boss just built a new million dollar building for his business and would rather pay them overtime than give them a raise. My mother has not been happy in her job. She has helped a friend from a previous job, obtain a job with her. That friend stabbed her in the back. She goes to work everyday and does her job to the best of her abilities, which after eight years are alot. She minds her own business, makes a few friends, and gets demeaned by her boss. She's unhappy, so she looks for other employment. She applies to endless other companies and never hears a word. She hurts her hip (I forget how) and when she gives her boss her doctor's note, he calls her doctor an idiot. He says, "There is nothing wrong with you." She still goes to work and does her job to the best of her ability. She is faithful to her company. Last year after her vacation, she applies to numerous other companies and vows, "The first offer I get, I'm gone." She never hears a word about her resume or applications.
About a month ago, my mother was taken to the hospital by my Padre. Around 5:30 in the morning, my mother thought she was having a heart attack. I went to see her in the hospital. She looked so beaten down, so fragile. I was afraid to touch her. She looked so weak, so defeated. The cardiologist came in and spoke with all three of us. She would have a nuclear stress test to determine how strong her heart was, but he didn't see any signs of a heart attack. After he left, and it was just the three of us, I held my mother's hand. She started crying and said, "My job is going to end up killing me." The company that she had stayed faithful to, because she loved the work, was trying to break her down. They didn't care that she came in at 7 am every morning and busted her ass to make sure her job was done and done correctly. Nor did they care that she never made waves and always did as she was told. They were trying to break her spirit. Then they could hire some hispanic lady who speaks very little English for a fraction of what they were paying her, to do her job. Her company does not care about their employees. When my Padre and I called her company to relay that she would not be in to work for the next few days, they didn't even respond. When she returned back to work, they didn't even care. This is not a big company. They probably have about 25 employees.
I could tell that my mother, who once was full of energy and fiesty, was now in a funk. She was cranky and didn't care to do almost anything. When my mother left the hospital she was placed on a small dose of Zoloft. Her tests came back as stress related. The cardiologist felt she was a little depressed. When she came home from her short stay in the hospital she cried because he had placed her on an anti-depressant. Depression runs in our family, but is not talked about. So does anxiety. I have both. My mother felt defeated. Her regular doctor placed her on another ant-depressant, Welbutrin. I have been prescribed this before. I try to console my mother that it's okay to have some help (the Welbutrin) once in a while until you don't need it anymore. I am currently not on anything(although I feel I need to be). I try to be her words of encouragement. She just found out that her sister is on an anti-depressant, and although it doesn't instantly relieve her apprehension, it helps. My mother comes home from work and cries. She looks like she's unsure of herself now. She isn't fiesty. My mother has suffered a blow.
When she came home from the hospital, I whipped out her resume and combed the internet for jobs that she was qualified for. I sent out resumes and applications. I searched everyday. I still search. We search the newspaper together. We talk a couple of times a week and she asks me everytime if I've heard anything from any prospects. It breaks my heart when I have to tell her no. We believe that her company, the one she has worked so hard for for the last 8 years, is sabotaging her efforts to better herself. She hasn't had a raise in 4 years. She has no benefits. She works her fingers to the bone and is never rewarded. Not even a simple "Thank you for all you do." She works for a company who does not care. And now they are nixing her efforts at every corner to escape. She needs a morale boost and they will not give it to her. My mother's job will end up killing her. It will sap her of happiness. And it is truly a shame.
That's why it's a little unnerving that she can't get the job she wants. She's been faithful to her company for 8 years. She makes less money than those who just started a year ago. She hasn't had a raise in 4 years. Her boss just built a new million dollar building for his business and would rather pay them overtime than give them a raise. My mother has not been happy in her job. She has helped a friend from a previous job, obtain a job with her. That friend stabbed her in the back. She goes to work everyday and does her job to the best of her abilities, which after eight years are alot. She minds her own business, makes a few friends, and gets demeaned by her boss. She's unhappy, so she looks for other employment. She applies to endless other companies and never hears a word. She hurts her hip (I forget how) and when she gives her boss her doctor's note, he calls her doctor an idiot. He says, "There is nothing wrong with you." She still goes to work and does her job to the best of her ability. She is faithful to her company. Last year after her vacation, she applies to numerous other companies and vows, "The first offer I get, I'm gone." She never hears a word about her resume or applications.
About a month ago, my mother was taken to the hospital by my Padre. Around 5:30 in the morning, my mother thought she was having a heart attack. I went to see her in the hospital. She looked so beaten down, so fragile. I was afraid to touch her. She looked so weak, so defeated. The cardiologist came in and spoke with all three of us. She would have a nuclear stress test to determine how strong her heart was, but he didn't see any signs of a heart attack. After he left, and it was just the three of us, I held my mother's hand. She started crying and said, "My job is going to end up killing me." The company that she had stayed faithful to, because she loved the work, was trying to break her down. They didn't care that she came in at 7 am every morning and busted her ass to make sure her job was done and done correctly. Nor did they care that she never made waves and always did as she was told. They were trying to break her spirit. Then they could hire some hispanic lady who speaks very little English for a fraction of what they were paying her, to do her job. Her company does not care about their employees. When my Padre and I called her company to relay that she would not be in to work for the next few days, they didn't even respond. When she returned back to work, they didn't even care. This is not a big company. They probably have about 25 employees.
I could tell that my mother, who once was full of energy and fiesty, was now in a funk. She was cranky and didn't care to do almost anything. When my mother left the hospital she was placed on a small dose of Zoloft. Her tests came back as stress related. The cardiologist felt she was a little depressed. When she came home from her short stay in the hospital she cried because he had placed her on an anti-depressant. Depression runs in our family, but is not talked about. So does anxiety. I have both. My mother felt defeated. Her regular doctor placed her on another ant-depressant, Welbutrin. I have been prescribed this before. I try to console my mother that it's okay to have some help (the Welbutrin) once in a while until you don't need it anymore. I am currently not on anything(although I feel I need to be). I try to be her words of encouragement. She just found out that her sister is on an anti-depressant, and although it doesn't instantly relieve her apprehension, it helps. My mother comes home from work and cries. She looks like she's unsure of herself now. She isn't fiesty. My mother has suffered a blow.
When she came home from the hospital, I whipped out her resume and combed the internet for jobs that she was qualified for. I sent out resumes and applications. I searched everyday. I still search. We search the newspaper together. We talk a couple of times a week and she asks me everytime if I've heard anything from any prospects. It breaks my heart when I have to tell her no. We believe that her company, the one she has worked so hard for for the last 8 years, is sabotaging her efforts to better herself. She hasn't had a raise in 4 years. She has no benefits. She works her fingers to the bone and is never rewarded. Not even a simple "Thank you for all you do." She works for a company who does not care. And now they are nixing her efforts at every corner to escape. She needs a morale boost and they will not give it to her. My mother's job will end up killing her. It will sap her of happiness. And it is truly a shame.
Monday, June 9, 2008
Can we be honest for a minute?
Okay. This is gonna be a sort of weird post for me.. So deep breaths.. WOO SAAHH.
Okay. I'm not a real religious person. I mean, I'm from the South; I am a God-fearin' woman and all, but I don't practice my religion. I believe that there is a God and I believe in Him in my own way. I don't really know yet if I believe in a heaven or hell. I believe that some things are an act of God, or a miracle from the highest high. I believe that if He brings you to it, He'll bring you through it. And I believe that no more is placed on you than you can handle (ie: your cross to bear, so to speak). These are things I believe. I respect what you believe. And I never try to push my beliefs on anyone else. Everyone has the right to their own religion and their own beliefs. I don't appreciate the looks I get when asked about what I believe in. I don't chide you, so keep your clucking tongue to yourself.
That being said, I just read a very interesting book. Escape by Carolyn Jessop. It is her side of what really happens in a religious cult. More specifically, the Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints and polygamy and Warren Jeffs. Now, I have no qualms with the Mormon church who, as I understand it (correct me if I'm wrong), banned polygamy, nor do I have beef with polygamists. If you want 10 wives because you think that will mark your importance in heaven with God, then hey buddy, go get yourself 10 wives. I'm cool with that. I don't believe in it, but I'm totally cool with that. I may think you're a little sick and are just seeking a "divine" outlet for your affair-ish ways, but whatever floats your boat. Who am I to judge you? What I'm not down with? Is brainwashing, child-brides, abuse (physical and emotional), and "keeping sweet". If you want your "wives" to obey you and be obedient, then it's your marriage and your right. As a more independent woman, I seriously doubt Hubbs could "keep me in line". We are equals. You, however, are treating your "wives" as second class citizens. As property, to be bought and sold as you see fit. And that? Is sooo not cool in my book. It's about as logical as the Ahab kamakaze pilots in WTFistan believing that if they die for Allah (whoever), they'll get a 100 virgins when they die. Come. On.
Our God is an awesome God, yes. I seriously doubt, though, that he preached that we should beat our women and children and keep them subservient at all times. That we should treat them as property and that they should have no rights. That they should share one man with 5 other women and be taught that water (water?!?) is the devil and they can't swim in it. That the color red is an abomination and that all their money should be turned over to their husband. That they should marry a man they have never met, who could be 30 years their senior, at the tender age of 18 (or younger!!). That the "outside world" is so awful. That going against their "priesthood head" (their husband/prophet) would result in them spending the next life in eternal damnation.
All I can say is... BULLSHIT. Our God is mysterious, but He is surely not a money-hungry heathen like Warren Jeffs. Warren Jeffs even proclaims to BE Jesus Christ! Didn't David Koresh try that one already? Warren Jeffs has a MySpace! Go ahead.. Look it up. I did, and I wrote him a nice little message saying that I hope he rots in E-Mortal hell for what he has put "his people" through, all because he's a power/money hungry bastard. Go on, send him your thoughts. This guy is a basket case.
I just simply can not and out right refuse to belief that a God so wonderful and merciful and boutiful as ours could "lead" people like Warren Jeffs into the corruptness that is his empire. I feel so sorry for the lost souls that follow him. For the poor, sweet, innocent children that are born into this and know no other life. For the officials getting flack about storming in and taking 400 and some odd children from the compound this year in Utah/Arizona, Kudos to you. These kids need to be away from sick individuals like Jeffs. Now I agree, that if this is their way of life and the way they practice their religion, and they ARE NOT HURTING ANYONE or BREAKING A LAW, then leave them be. But when they think they are above the law and marry kids off as young as 12 to men who are 60, that is just sick and somebody's ass better go to jail. It just absolutely disgusts me. I feel strongly that government officials acted just in time for it not to be another Waco fiasco, but will it make a difference? Jeffs has appointed a pro-temp leader to take his place while he's in the slammer. The abuse is still going on. Carolyn Jessop was Merril Jessop's 4th wife. She has 8 kids. Merril Jessop now has close to 20 wives and probably close to 60 kids. Warren Jeffs is in prison and proud of the fact that he was on the FBI's 10 most wanted list. These people are a joke.
It saddens me that there are individuals in this country that exploit the name of the Lord for their own benefit and drag thousands of innocent people down with them in the process. It saddens me that there are more religious cults in this country with far more bizarre tales, and some of them will die for what they so eagerly believe. I don't believe that anyone should be persecuted for their religion, and please don't misunderstand me. I'm not persecuting these people. I simply can not wrap my mind around the thinking behind what is supposed to make this moral and right.
Deep breaths. Deep breaths. Woo Saahh..
I'm stepping off my soap box now, and hope that I don't have to take it again for a very long while. Thoughts? Anyone?
Okay. I'm not a real religious person. I mean, I'm from the South; I am a God-fearin' woman and all, but I don't practice my religion. I believe that there is a God and I believe in Him in my own way. I don't really know yet if I believe in a heaven or hell. I believe that some things are an act of God, or a miracle from the highest high. I believe that if He brings you to it, He'll bring you through it. And I believe that no more is placed on you than you can handle (ie: your cross to bear, so to speak). These are things I believe. I respect what you believe. And I never try to push my beliefs on anyone else. Everyone has the right to their own religion and their own beliefs. I don't appreciate the looks I get when asked about what I believe in. I don't chide you, so keep your clucking tongue to yourself.
That being said, I just read a very interesting book. Escape by Carolyn Jessop. It is her side of what really happens in a religious cult. More specifically, the Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints and polygamy and Warren Jeffs. Now, I have no qualms with the Mormon church who, as I understand it (correct me if I'm wrong), banned polygamy, nor do I have beef with polygamists. If you want 10 wives because you think that will mark your importance in heaven with God, then hey buddy, go get yourself 10 wives. I'm cool with that. I don't believe in it, but I'm totally cool with that. I may think you're a little sick and are just seeking a "divine" outlet for your affair-ish ways, but whatever floats your boat. Who am I to judge you? What I'm not down with? Is brainwashing, child-brides, abuse (physical and emotional), and "keeping sweet". If you want your "wives" to obey you and be obedient, then it's your marriage and your right. As a more independent woman, I seriously doubt Hubbs could "keep me in line". We are equals. You, however, are treating your "wives" as second class citizens. As property, to be bought and sold as you see fit. And that? Is sooo not cool in my book. It's about as logical as the Ahab kamakaze pilots in WTFistan believing that if they die for Allah (whoever), they'll get a 100 virgins when they die. Come. On.
Our God is an awesome God, yes. I seriously doubt, though, that he preached that we should beat our women and children and keep them subservient at all times. That we should treat them as property and that they should have no rights. That they should share one man with 5 other women and be taught that water (water?!?) is the devil and they can't swim in it. That the color red is an abomination and that all their money should be turned over to their husband. That they should marry a man they have never met, who could be 30 years their senior, at the tender age of 18 (or younger!!). That the "outside world" is so awful. That going against their "priesthood head" (their husband/prophet) would result in them spending the next life in eternal damnation.
All I can say is... BULLSHIT. Our God is mysterious, but He is surely not a money-hungry heathen like Warren Jeffs. Warren Jeffs even proclaims to BE Jesus Christ! Didn't David Koresh try that one already? Warren Jeffs has a MySpace! Go ahead.. Look it up. I did, and I wrote him a nice little message saying that I hope he rots in E-Mortal hell for what he has put "his people" through, all because he's a power/money hungry bastard. Go on, send him your thoughts. This guy is a basket case.
I just simply can not and out right refuse to belief that a God so wonderful and merciful and boutiful as ours could "lead" people like Warren Jeffs into the corruptness that is his empire. I feel so sorry for the lost souls that follow him. For the poor, sweet, innocent children that are born into this and know no other life. For the officials getting flack about storming in and taking 400 and some odd children from the compound this year in Utah/Arizona, Kudos to you. These kids need to be away from sick individuals like Jeffs. Now I agree, that if this is their way of life and the way they practice their religion, and they ARE NOT HURTING ANYONE or BREAKING A LAW, then leave them be. But when they think they are above the law and marry kids off as young as 12 to men who are 60, that is just sick and somebody's ass better go to jail. It just absolutely disgusts me. I feel strongly that government officials acted just in time for it not to be another Waco fiasco, but will it make a difference? Jeffs has appointed a pro-temp leader to take his place while he's in the slammer. The abuse is still going on. Carolyn Jessop was Merril Jessop's 4th wife. She has 8 kids. Merril Jessop now has close to 20 wives and probably close to 60 kids. Warren Jeffs is in prison and proud of the fact that he was on the FBI's 10 most wanted list. These people are a joke.
It saddens me that there are individuals in this country that exploit the name of the Lord for their own benefit and drag thousands of innocent people down with them in the process. It saddens me that there are more religious cults in this country with far more bizarre tales, and some of them will die for what they so eagerly believe. I don't believe that anyone should be persecuted for their religion, and please don't misunderstand me. I'm not persecuting these people. I simply can not wrap my mind around the thinking behind what is supposed to make this moral and right.
Deep breaths. Deep breaths. Woo Saahh..
I'm stepping off my soap box now, and hope that I don't have to take it again for a very long while. Thoughts? Anyone?
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