After reading my good friend
Steph's blog this morning, I realized that: 1.) she makes an EXCELLENT point, and 2.) I have been holding back about this for WAAAAY too long. So, here I go, on my cute little pink soap box:
If you use a public restroom please, PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, wipe up your own piss after you squat to pee in the toilet!! I am so sick and tired of cleaning up after grown-ass women who are so freakin' afraid that they'll catch some deadly disease from a God-forsaken toilet seat! After you pee ALL OVER THE SEAT do you really think its sanitary for SOMEONE ELSE, A STRANGER, to risk touching your BODILY FLUIDS?? It's not like they hand out rubber gloves in the john. If you are a seat-wetter, why can you not adapt and do what normal people would do? Either grab one of those fancy seat covers that are on the wall, or if none are available, do what I do: Toilet paper the hell out of the seat. Every single time I have to wipe up after you sprinkle queens, I get a little more disgusted. Nine times out of ten, I have to wait to use the potty. It is a women's bathroom, afterall. We require more time to do our duty. Take the extra 3.7 seconds to CLEAN UP YOUR OWN MESS. I read an article the other day that simply stated that all you hover-ers are more likely to get a urinary tract or bladder infection because when you hover you are not completely emptying your bladders. Serves you right! While you are trying to avoid contact with the toilet seat of death, you are making your ownself more suseptible to infection and practically sky-rocketing the chances of someone else catching an infectin FROM YOU.
You know that sign that I'm sure all of your grandma's have hanging in their bathrooms? "If you sprinkle when you tinkle, be a sweetie and wipe the seatie"? This rule also applies in public locations. I swanee, the next time I go into a packed public restroom to use the facilities and some great hovering woman has pissed all over the seat, I am going to embarass the crap out of her! SHE should have to clean up HER mess. Not me. It'll probably go a little something like this: "(tap her on the shoulder) I'm sorry, but when I came into the restroom I wasn't given a pair of rubber gloves." (she will be thoroughly confused, think the "wtf" variety, and probably say "And??" or "So?") that's when I'll say, "So, if you don't mind, I really don't want to clean up YOUR piss before I sit on the toilet!" I think that ending could go one of two ways, don't you?
