Bitchiness and Drama?? I'm THERE.

Hubbs and I and 2 of our closest friends trekked down to the beach this past weekend for Hubbs' birthday. It was cold and rainy and there were a surprising number of people there. At first I was a little tiffed because I couldn't find my Monopoly game to take with us. Then I forgot my Scrabble game, because we all enjoy a good drunk Scrabble session. I took a puzzle, a couple of books, my Nintendo DS and my Chaucer homework with me in case I got bored. But aside from a little bit of reading ("Dirty Girls On Top" by Alisa Valdes-Rodriguez, SOOO GOOD), I got hooked on my newest TV addiction... America's Next Top Model and The Bad Girls Club. Who knew? So much drama, so captivating. I'll conitue to watch these two rain or shine!

How-to

In a totally unrelated post, I'm thinking of either changing my blog name or moving my blog. Which is easier? Starting over or just renaming? What's in a name? How did you guys come up with your blog names? How do you guys get your blogs to look so pretty and delicious? Discuss.

For the Love of Sex and the City..

I love Half.com. I shop there, I sell there, I lurk there. I am also, like, IN LOVE with Sex and the City. I have searched many a Borders Books and Barnes & Noble for this glorious book by Candace Bushnell. But alas, they do not carry it and I am cheap so I turned to Half.com. On February 4th, I placed my order. I think it was supposed to be coming from somewhere up north like Boston or New Jersey. Today is March 6th. This glorious book has yet to grace my mailbox. In a moment of Carrie Bradshaw awe, I asked myself, Will it ever arrive? I contacted the seller who claims to have "Already sent you an email because you asked for it fast, so I sent it first class." I say, Bullshit. I NEVER emailed her, nor did I ever ask her to "send it fast." As impatient as I am, I understand that when things are mailed it takes a few days. My estimated arrival date was between Feb. 14 and Feb. 26. So I sent her a reply back calling her bluff telling her that if I don't recieve it by the end of the month I will file a claim and request a full refund. She responds by saying that I don't need to result to threats and that she'll be glad to refund my money if I don't recieve the book and all she's doing is trying to make the world a better place by giving it books. I didn't threaten her; I followed Half.com protocol. If she slacked and forgot to mail it, fine. I understand. I slack too. If she totally misplaced my order, fine. I understand. I forget things too. But BE HONEST ABOUT IT. Don't try to jerk me around. I'm giving her til the end of this month, then I'm filing a claim and hope to get my money back. It's not about my $4.72 or the book, it's about principle. What is the world coming to when you can't get your Carrie fix?

New things..

For starters, I'm back. It's been a long time and I know we have LOTS to catch up on. I've missed you all terribly. I've been on a blah-hiatus, and now I'm back, so let's get started. Shall we?

1. New year, New..Job?-- To kick off this spectacular new year, I was laid off from my job at the Employment Palace due to staff reductions and budget cuts. Boo.

2. I Has Resolutions?-- The Hubbs and I... QUIT SMOKING. TOGETHER. And it was touch and go there for a few days. Quite a scary event.

3. The One Last Try Challenge-- I have joined a gym. Again. No remarks from the peanut gallery, thankyouverymuch. I've hauled my fat patootie up to that God-forsaken torture chamber every night (except weekends, I mean, a girl's gotta have SOME fun, yo) for almost 3 weeks. In my next life, I hope I'm a skinny bi-atch.

4. College4Life-- I'm STILL in school. BOO.

5. Baby?-- After getting canned ONE WEEK before my waiting period for my supplemental maternity leave took effect, we've decided to put the baby making on the back burner until September. Hence, the one last try challenge. I would like to look decent in a bathing suit at least ONCE before I get as big as a house.

There's the update. Talk to you guys soon!

I Hab a Colb

I have a cold. I think. My ears are hurting, like they are going to burst. I'm all snotty and sneezy. Achy and breaky. I'm two dwarfs shy of finding Snow White. I start back to school today. I am really very excited about this, but you can't tell 'cause I'm so snotty. Also? I took a dose of day cold meds this morning, and forgot to bring them with me because they lose their magic after 4 hours. That'll be right around the time I leave for school. This is wonderful because I'm sure I'll infect like at least half the class. They'll all be thanking me next week. I'm sure of it. I may be running a fever. This can't be good. Someone send in reinforcements please!

A Very Good Point!

After reading my good friend Steph's blog this morning, I realized that: 1.) she makes an EXCELLENT point, and 2.) I have been holding back about this for WAAAAY too long. So, here I go, on my cute little pink soap box:

If you use a public restroom please, PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, wipe up your own piss after you squat to pee in the toilet!! I am so sick and tired of cleaning up after grown-ass women who are so freakin' afraid that they'll catch some deadly disease from a God-forsaken toilet seat! After you pee ALL OVER THE SEAT do you really think its sanitary for SOMEONE ELSE, A STRANGER, to risk touching your BODILY FLUIDS?? It's not like they hand out rubber gloves in the john. If you are a seat-wetter, why can you not adapt and do what normal people would do? Either grab one of those fancy seat covers that are on the wall, or if none are available, do what I do: Toilet paper the hell out of the seat. Every single time I have to wipe up after you sprinkle queens, I get a little more disgusted. Nine times out of ten, I have to wait to use the potty. It is a women's bathroom, afterall. We require more time to do our duty. Take the extra 3.7 seconds to CLEAN UP YOUR OWN MESS. I read an article the other day that simply stated that all you hover-ers are more likely to get a urinary tract or bladder infection because when you hover you are not completely emptying your bladders. Serves you right! While you are trying to avoid contact with the toilet seat of death, you are making your ownself more suseptible to infection and practically sky-rocketing the chances of someone else catching an infectin FROM YOU.

You know that sign that I'm sure all of your grandma's have hanging in their bathrooms? "If you sprinkle when you tinkle, be a sweetie and wipe the seatie"? This rule also applies in public locations. I swanee, the next time I go into a packed public restroom to use the facilities and some great hovering woman has pissed all over the seat, I am going to embarass the crap out of her! SHE should have to clean up HER mess. Not me. It'll probably go a little something like this: "(tap her on the shoulder) I'm sorry, but when I came into the restroom I wasn't given a pair of rubber gloves." (she will be thoroughly confused, think the "wtf" variety, and probably say "And??" or "So?") that's when I'll say, "So, if you don't mind, I really don't want to clean up YOUR piss before I sit on the toilet!" I think that ending could go one of two ways, don't you?

Makes a girl feel down right good about herself!

Today I decided to treat myself to the best. lunch. evah! at Panera Bread. And I swear from the parking lot to the door I got all kinds of stares. From men in suits to little teenage kids. My first thought was: "Oh no! I didn't get all the sugar off that powdered donut off me!" My second thought was: "Oh no! I forgot to zip my fly {AGAIN}! (I do this alot!)! I willed myself not to think about what was all over my face or not zipped until I got back to the car. I checked myself out in the sun's reflection and realized that I had NOTHING on my face and my fly was TOTALLY zipped. I didn't have anything in my teeth and I didn't sit in poo. So my only conclusion is: I must be LOOKIN' GOOD today!

Also? I have come to the conclusion that, since I gained about 40 lbs. since marriage, even if I gain 40 MORE pounds {oh dear God forbid upon everything so sacred and holy}, my ass will always look FABULOUS. Thank you clothing Gods for Express Jeans and American Eagle; for you ALWAYS make my [fat] ass look bootylicious.