Don't mind me..

We are officially moved in!! I promise to post some pics next week. You know, after I cut the grass so it looks all neat-like. Poor Pookie. The first night we stayed there (last Friday) he wouldn't sleep on his bed or our bed. He slept UNDER the bed. All night. The next night he slept with us, as usual. But, he's been moping around, taking to deep sighs and then ceremoniously flopping on the floor on his stomach with those sad puppy dog eyes. It's so pouty; yet so funny. I keep bribing him with treats to boost his morale. I think it's starting to work.

When we lived in the little house (our first marital home), we had two very small bedrooms, one bathroom, and the washer/dryer was out on the back screened-in porch. Let me tell you, it was hell washing clothes in the winter. But the house was soo cute. Our first home. But we had So. Much. Junk. So now that we have 3. Whole. Bedrooms. I am beside myself. One is full, which leaves the Guest Room/Nursery. I can't get over how much space we have. It's totally awesome, yo.

Still, we have to call the landlord. The dishwasher spinny thingy at the bottom won't go down flush like it's supposed to. And that means, after the dishes are clean, I have to lift those heavy bastards over the spinny thingy that won't go down. Needless to say, I've been hand-washing my dishes. Then the valve packing to the valves for the washer hook up are leaking. It's either got to be wide open or off. Not "we're gonna flood the whole house" leaking, but a slight "we'll get it a trickle at a time" leaking. Not a major concern, but still something that needs to be fixed so it won't cause other problems (floor damage) down the road. Have I mentioned that we have fifty-leven light switches and none of them are where you'd expect them to be in a room. Like, when you walk in a room you expect them to be on the wall you're walking past. Nope! They're on the opposite wall. And this is why I bought nightlights at Lowe's last weekend. Strange house + Strange light switch arrangement= A trip to the emergency room. We still haven't even figured out what most of them go to. We still haven't figured out why some of the outside lights aren't working. We're not ruling out blown bulbs, but where are the damned switches to them?!?

We have almost a two acre lot. And no lawn mower. So sad. Thankfully, Ma Dukes rode her riding mower down the street to our house before we moved in and cut our grass. Otherwise, we'd have lost the dog. Last night my Padre gave us new(er) push mower to use because Ma Dukes' riding one is going in the shop for seasonal maintenance. Hubbs took one look at me, then the push mower and guffawed himself into a frenzy pointing and laughing. Ha. Ha. He seems to think I'll be out of breath after the first hour. (Note: It took Ma Dukes almost 3 hours to cut our grass.) At that rate, it'll take me all.day.long. But, as I keep explaining, it's exercise and a chance to get some sun. I may want to have someone present to witness the fact that 1) I am cutting grass, 2) I am exercising, and 3) It's of my own free will. Hubbs is still insisting that he go get MIL's riding mower this weekend so I will not die of either a heart attack or a heat stroke while cutting the yard, and I have to tell ya, I'm not entirely opposed to the idea. I mean, the sight of a sunburned fat chick laid out in the middle of the yard screaming, "I ain't movin' til the Life Flight lands!" is not really appealling.. well, to anyone. Also, I'd hate to make a spectacle of myself in front of the new neighbors. We'll see what happens.

I {usually} Heart Target

I usually love love love Target. Today? Not so much. I went on my lunch break to the Preppy Target around the corner from the Employment Palace because Hubbs and I went to the one in Regular Joeville yesterday to get birthday cards for both our Madre's and I suckered him into getting some new jeans. Because? All of his could be denominational with all the holes. After he tried them on, he was pretty much tiffed. He thought it was going to be a quick "in and out" trip. HAHAHAHA! Yeah, right. It turned out to be a shorter-than-I-would-have-liked trip, thus the lunch time mad dash to the Preppy one. I got there, scoped out the women's section and took 8 items to the dressing room. NONE OF THEM FITTED ME RIGHT. NONE. I really liked those $4 tee shirts and that cutesy skirt. Dammit. I found a fabulous sail boat bikini to try on. Get your harpoons out! Can we say "beached whale" or "marooned boat"?? I had a hard time concentrating on it's cuteness when all I could see was a ripple of back fat and a pouchy stomach that looked like a swollen Ethiopian child's. And can we mention my GINORMOUS thighs and the rest of my pastey white body? Uh.. YUCK. The first order of business is to find a tanning bed, stat. Everyone knows the darker you are, the thinner you look. Second order of business? Finding me a sugar daddy that can afford me some lipo. It's not a pretty sight y'all. When I met Hubbs, I was a confident, perky size 4. Now, 4 years later, I'm a pissy size 12/14. I like Jen Lancaster's advice: "Weight Watchers can kiss the fattest part of my ass." I laughed hysterically. Until I realized that it may take Weight Watchers to get some of the ass off me. Don't get me wrong.. I am LOVIN' my boo-taay. But the rest of me has GOT. TO. GO. I can deal with the stomach. I can't deal with the Mack Truck thighs and the swishing noise that comes with it. Eww. Like Hateful Bitch (whose blog name I LOVE!), I want to drop some poundage without changing my diet. Me? I love veggies, but I'm not big on fruit. I'm a meat and taters girl, through and through. I have an office job with moderate movement throughout the day (to my smoke breaks.. HA!) but virtually no exercise when I get home, except cleaning and taking the dog out to whiz. I'm thinking of taking the devil dog to the new walking trail down by the casa and taking my daily frustrations out on it. We'll see how long that lasts. I can always try again tomorrow as far as the diet goes. Today's Bojangle's lunch and my pizza dinner just can't wait.