... And then, it was all kind of sad.

I went to my first Weight Watchers meeting last night. There were lots of people there; mostly women. Mostly women in scrubs. And then, older women. There were 2 menfolk. I felt a bit sad as I walked through the door. I thought to myself, "I am PAYING to lose weight. Someone should be PAYING me for every pound I shed. Why do I have the urge to cry!?!?" Well, the answer to that, I found when I got home. PMS, you ruthless bitch, go away. You make me all weepy and crybaby-ish, and then I'm all irate and pissy, and then I'm all rainbows and lollipops. WTF? I really didn't need this on the day I start "Living, not dieting." Now, I will surely fall head first off the wagon into a chocolate patch and gorge myself silly with anything that is within reach. I ate a modest dinner last night and today, though all I can think about is food, I'm HUNGRY. I've had Nabs,water, Sugar Free Jello, water, chili, a small caesar salad, water and grapes. But I can't stop thinking about those Reese's Eggs I've got stashed in the office freezer. Or the handfuls of cereal I want to shovel in. Or the Coke I need to drink before I slap the taste out of some asshat's mouth. I get 23 points a day. That's basically 7 points per meal with 2 freebies. In my Carrie Bradshaw moment of despair, I have to wonder.. Am I gonna make it? Am I going to be able to force myself to do this and lose 2 lbs. a week so that by June I can actually wear a bathing suit on vacation? It's all so sad. I knew some (okay, all) of the things I eat aren't healthy-ish, but I never knew their point count was so high. This makes me sad. I can't eat fried anything, just about. Or slather gravy all over my plate. Good-bye huge soft rolls for dinner. So long greasy hamburgers and hot dogs. It's just not FAIR! I wanted to run home after the meeting and indulge in a "Last Supper", but I was too afraid. I was scared that I would be able to tell it at the next meeting. Please reassure me that I am not going to starve forever. As a soon to be former fat girl, I really hope it's worth giving up the gravy, yo.

Because apparently, I'm all chatty..

I'm all bitchy today. I hate being a woman. I hate having a period and all the uncomfortableness and inconvienence that comes with it. The only thing that makes me not stab someone of the opposite sex, is the fact that I take pleasure in knowing that one day they'll have prostate issues. They {Hubbs} may laugh and poke fun now about the hormones-induced rages, crying jags, and utter rollercoaster of emotions I endure one week out of the month, but the joke's on you, kid. At least no one will be grabbing me by the balls at 50. So there! HA!

I, in my own defense, do not snore. As far as I'm concerned, I sleep very peacefully and soundless during the night. I do not sleep walk, nor do I talk in my sleep. The only exception is when I have had a lack of sleep, alot on my mind, or a long and stressful day. Dear Hubbs called me at work today and the conversation went a little bit like this:

Hubbs: Wow, you must have gotten alot of sleep last night.
Me: Why do you say that? (yes, I get all defensive when I'm on the rag...)
Hubbs: Because, you jumped right up this morning after the clock went off and just got going.
Me: Yeah... Okay.. I also had some pretty weird dreams last night.
Hubbs: Yeah, I know. {snicker, snicker}
Me: Huh?
Hubbs: You were talking in your sleep last night.
Me: Nuh Uh. No way.
Hubbs: Uh, yeah. You were. I rolled over to see what you were mumbling about and you looked at me and said, "Budlight or Heiniken?" {laughing}
Me: I see.
Hubbs: So I said, "Budlight, Thanks. Now go back to sleep." {full blown laughing}
Me: {Laughing hysterically}
Hubbs: You must have been bartending last night. Glad you weren't too tired.

Yeah, it's a good thing I wasn't too tired to sling them beers, honey. Glad I could quench your thirst.